Mommy's Tantrum

I was rude in public yesterday.

Some of you may say, "Big deal."

This IS a big deal for me. I RARELY let my inner *B* out. I felt liberated and ashamed at the same time. Ashamerated?

OF COURSE this rude behavior takes place at my favorite place on earth.

Walmart. Shudder.

I set myself up for frustration by trying to hurry along this "quick" shopping trip. We had to get a birthday present, sandals for Little Dude, food for our picnic, and shorts for Sassy Girl. I figured we would be "in and out." We had a T-ball game to get to and I didn't want to be late. 

That was my first mistake.

Picking out birthday present: Took well over 20 minutes. Most of which was explaining to my 7 year old why I refuse to spend thirty dollars on something that looks like it will break in a week and lose most of the little pieces within a day.

Sandals for Little Dude: Can't find his size or even an aisle with sandals. Frustration with evil Walmart is slowly building. Finally find an aisle that looks promising and there are "aisle squatters" blocking the path. Seriously, they must have been trying on every single shoe in the place. I grumble under my breath and then get sucked into an argument with Sassy Girl, who seems to think that the ten pairs of shoes she has at home are not sufficient. Cue: "It's NOT fair..."  I say screw it, and forget about the sandals. Sorry Little Dude. Your toes will have to sweat.

Shorts for Sassy Girl: AGAIN, can not find her size. What the heck Walmart? Do you see me coming and put out an alert to hide anything that may be on my list? Do YOU? Yeah...it's a conspiracy. All against me. Cripes.

Food for Picnic: Get all the way over to the grocery aisle and I hear, "I have to go potty!" Sigh. "Can you hold it?" Child holds crotch and raises pitch of voice, "No!!" Back we go in the direction we JUST came. Have to wait 10 minutes when we get to the restroom, because apparently all the elderly women in the store decided to eat prunes at exactly the same time...

Back to picking out food: Another argument resulted as both children were picking out their picnic items out based on the dessert that came with the Lunchable. OK, so you hate ham but you want to get this one because it comes with a Butterfinger...?? Can we not do this now?

FINALLY, we are ready to check out. I glance at the time and realize we will just barely make it to T-ball on time. I load all of my things onto the belt. I start fishing in my never ending purse for my wallet and realize it's not there. Great, I left it in the car. Anxiety/Frustration level growing.

But wait,  I have a checkbook. Sweet.

She runs the check through and then says, "Can I see your ID?"

I sigh excessively and say that I left it in the car and was hoping she wouldn't have needed it. Duh, that's why I had to use a check like a caveman. Psh.

She tells me she needs it. I tell her that my license number is on my check. She tells me she needs to see the license. Again.

Now, in my head I do realize this is all my fault. But, something happened to me that I can't really explain, and I just snapped. Red faced, I gathered up my kids, and shoved the cart to the side with all of my unpurchased items.

"WELL FINE! Guess what kids? We are going to be REALLY late to your game now. We have to walk all the way to TIMBUKTU to get it because that's where we had to park because everyone else without kids is too lazy to walk. FINE. JUST FINE! I will be back."

Well aren't I just a classy gal? While racing the children back to the nether regions of the parking lot I actually start to calm down a bit.

Then I feel really guilty. It wasn't the cashier's fault that my day was turning out so crappy. How dare I take it out on her! My little hissy fit felt good at the time, but seriously, how old am I? I turned into one of those people that I typically just raise my eyebrows at. And my kids just witnessed me throw a tantrum. Lovely.

Back inside, I sheepishly hand over my ID to the cashier and apologize for my behavior, explaining I was just in a rush and took it out on her. She looked at me like I was a bit crazy. I guess I kind of am. Oh well. At least my kid's witnessed me apologize for being a dumbass.

I just don't have the conscience to be a jerk. I don't know how so many people do it on a daily basis.

I won't be going back there anytime soon.