Totally not winning any awards for consistency any time soon.
Anyway, as I was saying, I had a date with my favorite girl to play Barbies today. We pulled out the classic Rubbermaid tub filled to the brim with half naked dolls, whatever tiny worthless accessories were spared from death by trash or heating vent, and tangled masses of whatever the heck their hair is made out of.
|Designer Kitchen Decor?|
Fast forward to play mode:
Sassy Girl - (In a ridiculously high pitched Valley Girl voice): Hi Sabrina! Let's go shopping. I need a new dress so I can get a boyfriend.
Me- (In equally ridiculous high pitched voice) Oh you don't need a new dress. Whoever the lucky guy is should like you for YOU. Not because of some piece of fabric you put on your body. Besides, who needs a boyfriend? Look at me. I am smart, successful, and I certainly don't need a man to define who I am as a person.
Sassy Girl - ...
Me- (Continuing high pitched feminist Barbie rant) I mean...look at everything I've accomplished. I went to college and now I enjoy success in my extremely profitable veterinarian clinic doing what I love. Do you think I needed a man to do this? Nope. It was all me. All in here. (Awkwardly moves stiff Barbie hand to sort of point at her heart.)
Sassy Girl - (Gets out of character by whispering) Mom...you're not doing it right. I want to find my Ken so we can play wedding.
Me - (Turns the volume down on Lilith Fair Barbie. Decides not to pull out Equal Rights Barbie.) Ok. Fine. Let's go to the mall.
Doo dee doo dee doo dee do. Oh look, we're here. Man, that pink convertible can cruise.
We "shop" for new outfits. I think the fact that I'm Mom really shines through in this comparison. Can you guess which one is MY successful, smart, classy Barbie? Dang you, Hannah Montana.
|Golly Gee! Where's my cardigan at now?|
After the fun of outfitting the Barbies, I pull out a Barbie from the bottom of the tub.
Me - Hey! This used to be my Barbie when I was little!
Sassy Girl - Oh she's really old. Hey, I know what we can do! She can go to the Sock Hop!!
Me - (Glares at innocent child.) Yeah. Great. The Sock Hop...