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Monday, June 11, 2012

Little White McLie

I lied today. To my own husband. It just spewed out before I even put any thought into it.

He called me to see if he could use my car to go fishing.

I told him I was at the park...

I was not at the park. I was sitting on my ass eating a chicken sandwich at McDonalds.

I guess saying I was at the park sounded so much more "Mom of the Year" than "Yeah, fend for yourself for dinner. I'm loading the kids up on fake meat and I am getting fatter as we speak. Love you."

My sister was even with me when the word vomit came out. She looks at me with an odd expression and all I could do was shrug with just as much confusion at the knee jerk lie I just told.

McDonalds is a place of sanctity for a lot of parents. The kids eat the crap we tell them is food as fast as they possibly can and then they disappear into the maze of twisty bright colored tunnels until it is time to go. Then we have to hunt them down and shout threats until they emerge. Still, it's a fair price for an uninterrupted meal and an adult conversation.

I eventually fessed up that I was, indeed, at the "Fat Pants Kingdom".  Oops...make that "McFat Pants Kingdom."

If I would have let the lie go on it would have messed with me in ways "The Tell Tale Heart" couldn't even come close to describing. I suck at lying...I suppose that is a good quality. 

A positive out of this:  I learned I did not scar my child for life with the ghost story yesterday. Guess what was echoing loudly in the tunnels between all the children in the joint?

"Where is my Golden Arm?!"

Little Dude started a trendy new game.

This no-good-lying mother is pretty proud.

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