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Sunday, February 12, 2012

Fish Sandwich

Living in Minnesota there are certain activities that we are expected to partake in on a seasonal basis. Ice fishing is one of those activities. If you don't know how to freeze your butt off in the winter while covering yourself in fish slime and downing cheap beer...well then you just aren't a true Minnesotan. So, keeping true to our heritage the kids and I went ice fishing today.

Driving out to the fish house is always a bit of a struggle for me. We put safety plugs in our electrical outlets because the kids MIGHT put their fingers in there and there are specifications on exactly when and how they may lay their precious little fingers on a pair of scissors. (You MIGHT die if I am not supervising your cutting!) Well, here I am with my precious cargo happily driving on a damn lake where the only thing that separates us from a watery grave is a thin layer of ICE. I never said I was smart. 

The kids are AMPED up to go fishing. Remember happy robot dance? Yeah, it's back. 
We get all the lines set up and then...we wait. Children are not pleased with the lack of hunger below the ice this evening. I prepare for a mutiny. We have been in the fish house for a whopping total of ten minutes and already two lunchables, two candy bars, and two beef sticks have been consumed by these bottomless pits to appease the boredom they are displaying. Close quarters call for desperate measures. I pray for something to bite. A fish, a weed, a boot perhaps. Something to curb the freak out that is inevitable if we play "I spy" one more freakin' time. I have to admit it is not only the children that are getting bored...I have my own whiny thoughts streaming through my brain as well. Must. Keep. It. Together. (We are having FUN... RIGHT???)

The kids turn to the minnow bucket for entertainment as I would have expected eventually. They scoop up varies sizes of minnows and let them flop around on the ground. Sick and twisted...yet totally acceptable. They come across a dead one. Oh boy. Here come the questions. I get to explain the circle of life in a stinky fish house. I feel a bit like a hillbilly. Poor dead minnow. Here...let me show you how to stick a hook in it's head. *Mixed messages*

It is only a matter of time before I hear the dreaded words, "I have to go potty."  Now, mind you we have prepared for this. I made the kids squirt out any minuscule amount of urine they may have possibly had in their bodies BEFORE we decided to rough it in the tundra. But I knew this would be an obstacle that we would without a doubt be faced with. So we pull out "the bucket". Nasty. There is a designated bucket in this house of class for relieving yourself in. While helping daughter learn the fine art of "hovering" as she hasn't been to any keggers yet, I lean a bit too close to the gaping hole of broken dreams. *SPLASH* I watch my phone sink to the bottom in slow motion. The children learn a new word. 

We did finally catch a fish. We have enough food for one fish sandwich. Yeah...that is worth piss on my hands and a new phone. 

So, in conclusion, fishing on the ice with kids is pretty awesome. You should try it. I'd recommend some good spots if I had a phone to call you. But I don't. Because it is in the lake. 

I am looking forward to my fish sandwich.


  1. So you're not sharing that sandwich then. Good call :)

    1. I absolutely did NOT share! I earned that fish! :)
      Thanks for reading!