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Saturday, November 10, 2012

The Hitchhiking Bird

So, that one time, when I got a bird stuck in my car...

Yeah. You heard me right. I got a bird stuck in my car last month. I am just now getting the chance to write about it, because of course something of that quirky nature would happen when I didn't have a computer to siphon the details of this epic event into.

The kids were out in the driveway with the car door wide open searching for a lost treasure that became victim of the Aztek's voracious appetite for small items and stale french fries. I hear two shrieks and frantic feet pounding the pavement towards the house. 


This caught me off guard as I was expecting this shrieking to be the result of a sibling battle I would have to put to rest. 

My reaction was something like: Silence. Laugh. "WHAT?" 


I venture outside, laughing at this off the wall predicament. 

Sure enough, flapping inside my car is the Cletus Jones of the sparrow world. 

I open all the doors and the hatch, ducking and wincing at the possibility of a bird beak coming in contact with my face. 

After circling the car a few times and doing a few rounds of kicking the interior and then running like a wuss, I SWORE I saw a bird fly out the back. 

Thinking this whole mess was behind us, we went back inside the house and went on with our day. 

Fast forward to evening. My niece came over and I was getting ready to bring the girls to Girl Scouts. I tell the kids to go get in the car. 

As I'm heading outside I hear shrieks again. Crap. 


What the heck?? What do I do? I've never had to trouble shoot bird invasions before. 

The dang bird ups the ante by performing a disappearing act. 

"Did he fly out?? Did anyone see him fly out??"

My niece points to the spot underneath my steering wheel where there is a little hole that goes to the inside of the car. 

"I'm pretty sure I saw him fly in there..."

"WHAT??!!!" Okay. Panic. 

We are already late to Girl Scouts. I send a message to our troop leader that we are running a little late due to a "situation" and we will be there as soon as we can. How do you explain a bird invasion over text without sounding crazy? Too much Hitchcock??

Now I am too afraid to even stick my head inside the car. Instead of productive problem solving, I proceed to pace around the driveway hoping the bird just decides to leave. 

That doesn't happen. 

I am elated to see my husband come home from work. I frantically bombard him with my bird story and tell him it's his job to get the thing out. 

He gets a long pipe and a flashlight. Bird flushing tools, I guess. I can tell he doesn't believe me at first. Partially because of my intuitive sense, and partially because he said, "It probably flew out already." 

He hits the part of the car underneath the steering wheel. I see him suddenly back up. Yeah. Told you. Bird.  In my car. Not crazy. 

About 10 minutes of this tapping and ducking dance goes on and suddenly I hear a curse word and running. 

"Got it!" 


Pretty sure my neighbors think we are nuts. 


  1. At least it was a bird somebody that I know found a snake coiled up in her car.

  2. That's it... start googling book publishers. You could be a millionaire. :)

    1. You are too kind Lindsey! Not sure about the millions but thanks for the sweet comment!