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Monday, April 30, 2012

Finding my Balance

I have come to the conclusion that I need some balance in my life. My major faults include:

1. I am too hard on myself OR
2. I am not hard ENOUGH on myself.

How to I obtain such balance? Striving for nonexistent perfection only leads to disappointment and only doing enough to get by is a waste of life in my own opinion.

Sometimes I just feel muddled. If that's a word.

Maybe I make life too complicated.

 My kids seem to have this whole thing down pat.

 They live impulsively with no fear of showing whatever emotion they may be feeling.

When responsibility is knocking on their door, they appear to take care of business and even take pride in these accomplishments. Without the stress of worrying what tomorrow will bring or obsessing about what others may think of them. They live in the moment because they feel security when doing so.

Maybe this is a result of decent parenting or maybe it is just the innocence that dwells only within children that have not yet dirtied their hands with social pressures and hypocrisy.

Or maybe I just over think things. Fault #3

Granted, putting away the dishes after dinner or apologizing to a fellow child on the playground may be insignificant in comparison to financial issues or preparing a big speech for work...but not in their world.

And maybe (of course) my issues are insignificant compared to millions of other stressors in the world.

To circle around back to my point...I guess I am just rambling, but I sort of had a point to begin with.

Balance.

 I am not sad or angry or anything like that. Just feeling like I need to discipline myself to have better balance. I need to be okay with my failures if I know I gave it my all. I need to be harder on myself for times when I give up too quickly on things I know I can accomplish but am to afraid to fail at.

 I'm in the process of auto tuning my priorities so that the right ones always land on top.

The rest will fall into place.

I'm off to go push dirt around with Little Dude in the sandbox.

Because this is what SHOULD be at the very tippy top of that priority list.






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