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Monday, December 17, 2012

Wild Times at a Dentist Appointment

I despise going to the dentist. It gives me "I think I might throw up" anxiety every time. Some of you weirdos I know actually enjoy it, but I would rather poke myself with a stick than go to the dentist.

But alas, I am an adult and I must force myself to go. I've never had good experiences as a child with the dentist. I was blessed with a too small mouth which resulted in millions (6) extractions and tons of orthodontic work. Also, I am prone to cavities because of the way my teeth are jammed together. I remember brushing and flossing three times a day and still getting cavities, while my brother barely drug a toothbrush through his mouth once a day and had "perfect teeth". Whatever.

I was dreading today's visit because I needed to get some of my teeth fixed. This isn't just the tooth polishy thing and scraper. This involves Black 'n Decker machinery. EEEK!

 My dentist knows that I don't like coming to see him. In fact they call me "the nervous one". Great. 

They decided that loading me up on magical gasses would be beneficial for this appointment. You don't want me to freak out on you, huh? I'm not above crying at the dentist. It might happen. 

 I had them check to see if my insurance covered it, and wouldn't you know it, it does.

So again, they asked me if I would like some.

Flashback to high school. I feel like I'm being peer pressured. I am the person that can take two Benadryls and not remember half the night. Do I "just say no"?

My shaking hands tell me to "just say yes". So I do.

At this point I am more anxious about the gas. The only memory of having nitrous was when I was about Sassy Girl's age and the room started spinning and everything the dentist said was delayed. Open your mouth, mouth, mouth...

As the hygienist hooks me up to "the good stuff" I frantically say, "Not too much. I'm not a drug addict." I say really dumb things when I'm nervous... 

Then, I drift off into happy land. All of sudden anxiety was whisked away, but not in a "I'm so trashed" sort of way. In a "I'm kind of tired so I might take a nap and listen to the music in my head" sort of way.

Then they decided to bring out the Novocaine needle. AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! 

Even messed up on legal drugs I was still terrified. So terrified that the dentist decided to cover my eyes with a washcloth so I wouldn't see his evil doing tools. Pretty sure I was getting the pediatric treatment, which is JUST FINE by me.

He poked me with his weapon of mass destruction. I must have made the worst face ever, because the hygienist restrained held my hands. Okay. I guess it wasn't that bad. But blinded by a washcloth and feeling a poke in your gums makes you feel like you are in some sort of torture chamber. Several not so bad pokes later, my mouth was marinating in numbness.

It wasn't just my mouth that was numb. My nose was numb too. And the nitrous that was flowing into my body made me think this was kind of funny. So I giggled. Which is weird at a dental appointment. We've come a long ways from the "I want to throw up" days. Now I'm just deranged.

I endured 45 minutes of loud power tools going to town on my numb mouth, but honestly the only thing that was giving me anxiety at this point was the fact that I really had to pee. Also, I wasn't sure when to swallow the pool of drool that kept flooding in when they were working on my mouth. WHERE IS THAT SUCKER MACHINE THING?

Finally, all the work was done, and they gave me oxygen. They asked if I was feeling back to normal, and I shrugged and said, "I think so." Except, when your upper lip and nose feels like it's protruding out like a Bugs Bunny cartoon and when you go to touch it and feel NOTHING...then that's not normal. Weird and uncomfortable. Is my nose running? 

I go to make my next appointment, and try to talk. I get words out, but I can't feel them come out. I feel like a marionette puppet. One that drools and can't feel it.

I went home and that Novocaine stayed around FOREVER. I tried to eat a turkey sandwich 3 hours later when I finally started to feel my nose and some of my upper lip. Yeah. Didn't work out so well. I was starving and couldn't find the top of my mouth. Disastrous.

All in all...I guess it wasn't so bad. I got my teeth fixed, a little buzz for an hour, and I wasn't able to stuff my face for 4 hours...so diet friendly.

4 comments:

  1. You had me cringing I think there are not many people that like dentists visits but I fortunately have a great dentist, she is very gentle. What I do is I keep my eyes firmly shut. I hate it when there are a hundred tools in my mouth and the dentist asks me a question. How do you talk when your mouth is numb and full of tools? Need to practise to become a ventriloquist.

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    1. I know! They always talk to you when you can't talk back! You just have to sort of mumble and hope you don't drool on them.

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  2. It can feel a bit weird and awkward when you are sedated. But then, it really helps ease the pain once the dental procedure starts. But it might be best to just ride a cab or have someone drive you while you're still feeling the effects of the sedative, since it can really linger for quite some time.

    Felipe Roberson @ Philly Dentist

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