Shattered

We broke an ornament this week. 

Not usually a big deal. We tend to break a lot of things in the annual Christmas decorating frenzy.

This ornament, though...it was special. 

The result of my child accidentally bumping into the Christmas tree. 

We heard a clinging of two glass ornaments and one ended up on the floor. 

In pieces. 

In that moment I couldn't hold back any emotion. When I saw which ornament was in front of me, shattered to pieces, I immediately began to cry. 

It is hard to explain in words what sheer emotion flooded into my entire being, a result of powerful symbolism drudging up what I was desperately trying to bury. Less than a minute, but lasting a lifetime. 

In front of me was the shattered ornament my mom had made for my daughter before she died.  

Each piece, segregated from what it once was...beautiful and strong, now lay scattered in shards around the crooked Christmas tree. 

A shattered heart. 

Anyone who has ever lost someone close knows that holidays can be especially hard. I tend to swallow the lump that forms in my throat and move on with festivities, but the reality is...nothing will ever be the same. 

It gets easier as the years pass to keep it together, but it will always hurt. We can mend this ornament, but it will never be restored completely. 

My heart and my family can never be what it once was. We all are in our homes. Scattered. Miles away from each other. And when we come together...there is a void. A missing piece. 

We all hold pieces of a beautiful shattered heart.