Another Sad Day in History

Another shocking story was reported this morning. Colorado. 12 dead. 59 injured. Words like massacre ringing in my ears. I feel awful just sitting here. With my coffee and family. Safe. Yet, I have that familiar numbness seeping in. Safe is an illusion once again. With every shooting. Every terrorist attack. Every report of nuclear weapons. I feel a heaviness. Paranoia creeping in, once again. The older I get, the more I internalize all of these reports of real life horrors. The more I work on dealing with them. The more I picture them ripping my family away from me. I can't help but mourn for the faces twisted in pain/fear/agony that are constantly pictured in clips cycled throughout the week. I pray. I wonder why we live in a world that this can happen. I realized my sheltered life has not prepared me or many others for these twisted surrealistic events that have taken place. Taken lives. I would be lying if I said I didn't have fears going to large events anymore. Getting on a plane. Sometimes, just going to sleep.

I immerse myself in the latest news breaks, as many of us "helpless" outsiders are doing. Names of the victims and their stories are slowly released. I instantly picture their families, friends, close ones. Me, losing someone close in an "expected" event like cancer, and knowing how traumatizing that can be, I can not imagine losing someone in such an unexpected, publicized, and shocking event. Horrifying. I can not imagine losing my child. Many of the victims in this event were very young. 

It sticks with me. I look at my children. I worry. I thank God for my babies being with me tonight. So many parents just sent their children to a movie. A harmless movie. In Columbine, so many parents just shuffled their kids off to school. On 9/11 they just went to work. Every day mundane routines. Many family members wishing they had said the words, "I love you." 

I cringe at these events bringing forth so many politicized opinions. I realize we all have our opinions. It's easy to have opinions when we are "safe" and far away from a tragedy. Guns are not, in my opinion, the issue. Parents bringing young children to a late night movie are not, in my opinion, the issue. A government conspiracy, in my opinion, is not the issue. I do not want to go into detail about the hows and whys of my opinions. They are just my opinions. And we will have enough opinions shoved down our throat in the weeks to come. Are we so quick to point the finger at all of these issues to call attention away from the fact that, yes, someone can actually do such horrific things with no remorse, or regard to human life. Things that we as "normal" thinking individuals could never imagine carrying out. Mental illness doesn't fit in neat little package with a shiny red bow tied around it.

Call me the crazy one, but I feel sadness for the family members of not only the victims in these tragedies, but also of the assailants. So many people are shouting, "An eye for an eye!" But can we really kill hatred with hatred? It's like a virus and it spreads quickly. 

Please, hold your family close tonight and every night that you can. Try not to get lost in the shuffle. We never know what moment is our last. 

Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.